You did not just play the dead husband card again.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
