Your dad touched me again.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
