Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
