Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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