That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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