I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
