Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I deserve this hangover.
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