Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
