textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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