It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Randomize
