I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
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You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
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Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize