I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Randomize
