Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize