paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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