do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
