I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
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