saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
