Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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