All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
