oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
We were destined to go to rehab together
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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