like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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