is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Randomize
