His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
