yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
