no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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