I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
