he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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