Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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