i think my mom watched the whole time
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
