Just mADE A PArabola og urine
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
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He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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