I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
