before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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