I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
