he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
My penis needs a shock collar
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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