All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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