my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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