This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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