so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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