dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
