She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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