u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
