it's like her boobs came off with her bra
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
