just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
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That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
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I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
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