If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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