So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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