Plan B is the new Plan A
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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