i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
