sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
