there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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