someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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