ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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