I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
