there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
