I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
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