she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
