I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
These tits shall not be calmed
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