8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
