i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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