His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
