It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
