I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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