tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
21 Disappointing Confessions From Teenage Fathers
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions