High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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