I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
You're like the curious george of whores
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica