Texts From Last Night

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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I'm chasing vodka with french fries.

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  (201): I'm chasing vodka with french fries. http://tfl.nu/5e4z
  Replies (24) Good night (3037) Bad night (577) Order T-Shirt
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.

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  (520): I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs. http://tfl.nu/4glk
  Replies (8) Good night (2855) Bad night (477) Order T-Shirt
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  (510): View more from California

  I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...

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  (510): I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring... http://tfl.nu/set0
  Replies (80) Good night (2683) Bad night (8076) Order T-Shirt
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  He played with my vagina like it was a turntable

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  (423): He played with my vagina like it was a turntable http://tfl.nu/xc9s
  Replies (24) Good night (4116) Bad night (1548) Order T-Shirt
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...

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  (504): they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am... http://tfl.nu/k8x7
  Replies (13) Good night (2665) Bad night (895) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers

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  (716): I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers http://tfl.nu/1krf
  Replies (12) Good night (3824) Bad night (668) Order T-Shirt
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  did i walk over a car last night?

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  (+61): did i walk over a car last night? http://tfl.nu/hd3i
  Replies (4) Good night (1912) Bad night (565) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.

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  (203): She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good. http://tfl.nu/fc7j
  Replies (1) Good night (633) Bad night (1216) Order T-Shirt
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  (949): View more from California

  this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.

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  (949): this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning. http://tfl.nu/8me0
  Replies (4) Good night (1689) Bad night (649) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip

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  (360): we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip http://tfl.nu/7xer
  Replies (3) Good night (1928) Bad night (466) Order T-Shirt
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.

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  (574): A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments. http://tfl.nu/8p58
  Replies (6) Good night (2644) Bad night (740) Order T-Shirt
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.

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  (608): Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day. http://tfl.nu/sglt
  Replies (2) Good night (1497) Bad night (561)
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  (707): View more from California

  As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.

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  (707): As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment. http://tfl.nu/opoe
  Replies (5) Good night (737) Bad night (285) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."

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  (603): I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses." http://tfl.nu/iu6o
  Replies (2) Good night (784) Bad night (178)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.

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  (901): I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy. http://tfl.nu/38oe
  Replies (6) Good night (196) Bad night (711) Order T-Shirt

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