Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??