Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
