the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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