if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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